When a Christian Husband Says, “I Do”

Daily Devotional: Day 162

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25).

Christian marriage is no ordinary relationship. Anything directly related to Jesus Christ is not ordinary; it’s sacred. By comparing Christian marriage with the covenant relationship between Jesus and the Church, the Bible is basically saying that Christian marriage is a supernatural union with supernatural implications.

Christian marriage is a divine pairing. The wife is to the husband what the Church is to Christ; and the husband is to the wife what Jesus is to the Church. Yesterday, we looked briefly at what God expects from the wife, which is, submission to her husband. Today, it’s the husband’s turn. Look carefully at today’s Bible passage. It looks like a simple statement – and it is – but the implications of the statement are profound.

God wants husbands to love their wives. We know that a lot of husbands love their wives. That’s commendable. Yet, God isn’t talking about just any form of love, because there are different kinds of love and different ways of loving people. God is speaking to husbands about a specific form of love. He wants husbands to love their wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. This is the standard by which God expects the husband to love his wife. 

When a Christian husband says, “I do,” he is saying, “I will love you the way Jesus loved the Church.” When he says to his wife, “I love you,” he must mean “I love you with the love Jesus has for the Church.” This means the husband must, first of all, be someone who knows Jesus, because you can only mirror someone you know and understand. The same is true for the wife; she can only mirror the Church if she understands the role of the Church toward Jesus. The husband must, therefore, make Jesus his marriage Mentor and Counselor. No amount of marriage counseling, marriage retreats or marriage workshops can replace the husband’s need to imitate Jesus. It is a great honor bestowed on the husband, to be called to be the reflection of Jesus in the marriage.

Just as Jesus is head of the Church, the husband, too, is head of the wife, and consequently. he needs to be an effective and reliable head. Jesus doesn’t lead the Church astray. The husband must not hesitate to lead his wife or be indecisive. It is his God-given role, and he needs to take it seriously. As head of the wife, it is his duty of love and duty of care to watch over the spiritual growth of his wife and indeed of the entire household – if they have children. To do this, the husband will do well to be prayerful, grounded in God’s Word and and able to discern.

Let’s recall the story of Adam and Eve. Adam had the responsibility of watching over his wife. When he realized that Eve had eaten of the forbidden fruit, his duty was to intervene, intercede for his wife and consult God about what could be done to save her. Instead, he neglected his role of spiritual leadership and shared in his wife’s error. Christian husbands should learn from Adam’s story. It’s important for them to remember that God has made them the spiritual head of their household. Material care is important, but the greatest act of love a husband can show his wife is not the provision of expensive vacation trips, fancy shoes and clothing, expensive rings, etc., but to see to the wife’s spiritual growth through prayer, study of God’s Word and training in godliness. 

God bless Christian husbands with a spirit of leadership, discernment, courage and prosperity. Amen.

For further study: 1 Samuel 1:1-28