Separating Admirers from Friends (Pt 2)

Daily Devotion | Day 329

“Now when Herod saw Jesus, he was exceedingly glad; for he had desired for a long time to see Him, because he had heard many things about Him, and he hoped to see some miracle done by Him” (Luke 23:8, NKJV).

Admirers are shoppers. They are constantly shopping for pleasure and satisfaction. If you happen to possess what they like, they will cling to you. You become the object of their fascination. To the admirer, you are a beautiful and useful tool, but a tool nonetheless. You meet a need. In this sense, admirers can be manipulative, possessive and controlling. They have a deep need to mold you, if they can, to satisfy their expectations and to have you do their bidding.

 Moreover, admirers want to be entertained by you. If you lose your entertaining abilities or if someone more entertaining surfaces, they will let go of you. Because they are addicted to you, admirers need a constant supply of the thing which draws them to you. If supply ceases or dwindles, they must look elsewhere for satisfaction. The day you no longer meet their expectations, it’s over for you. That is what admirers do. And that is why they are in your life for a season. How long the season lasts depends on how long you can sustain their interest. Admirers are unstable. One minute, they love you; the next minute, they despise you.

Friends, on the other hand, have bonded with you. You are like a part of them. They see you as a soul to be loved not a tool to be used. You are like their twin brother or sister. Even when separated by thousands of miles, friends know their spirits are in communication. Friends do not need to manipulate or control you, because they are secure in their love for you and in your love for them.

Your mistake is not realizing the difference between an admirer and a friend. So, when the admirer suddenly turned against you, you got depressed because you thought you had lost a friend. The fact is, you did not lose a friend. You lost an admirer. And for every admirer who ceases to like you, there is another ready to fill the vacancy. Admirers are your fans, not your friends. Therefore, do not lose sleep over their actions. And do not make the mistake of depending on admirers for love. So long as they remain admirers only, they cannot love you. Make peace with that. One loyal friend is worth more than a thousand admirers.

We have said much already. Let us look briefly at our opening Scripture. Herod, the ruler of Galilee, was a big fan of Jesus. Note that. But he never got a chance to meet Jesus in person. One day, the opportunity came. When Jesus stood trial, Pilate sent Him to Herod (Luke 23:5-7). When Herod saw Jesus, the Bible says, “he was exceedingly glad; for he had desired for a long time to see Him.” In his excitement, he hoped to see Jesus perform a miracle for him.

But here is the crux of the matter. Herod admired Jesus because the latter was a miracle-worker. He was no friend of Jesus; nor was he interested in becoming one. He needed Jesus for entertainment purposes. For him, Jesus was a tool – a means to satisfy his craving for attention and entertainment.

For someone who was exceedingly glad to see Jesus, you would think that Herod would care about giving Jesus a fair trial. He was disappointed when Jesus refused to answer any of his questions. Of course, Jesus knew that Herod was no friend of His. Therefore, He denied him the pleasure of being entertained even by His words.

When Herod noticed that Jesus would not succumb to his wishes, this is what happened: “Then Herod, with his men of war, treated Him with contempt and mocked Him . . .” (v. 11). One moment, Herod was exceedingly glad to see Jesus. The next moment, he was filled with contempt for Him. Was Jesus surprised? No. Herod was just being Herod, an admirer and not a friend.

To sum up: Knowing the types of people in your life will help you to adjust your expectations accordingly. It will help you to invest your energy where it matters. It will keep you from falling into relationship traps. Discern well. Know your friends, and stay blessed. Amen.

For further study1 Samuel 18:1-28 and John 6:10-11

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