Today. I’d like us to finish what we started in the last episode by covering two more (unreasonable) expectations people have in relationships.
2. They Want You to Stop Seeing Your Best Friends
Some people forget that before they met you, you had a life – you had great friends who helped you become the person you are today. Consequently, they often find an excuse to complain about the time you spend with your friends. Those who do this are usually paranoid and insecure. It’s unreasonable to think that the beginning of a relationship (or marriage, for that matter) should mark the end of prior friendships.
You might be concerned about your partner cheating on you, but here’s the truth: if someone is determined to cheat on you, you can’t stop them. Attempting to stop them will only fuel their desire to cheat.
Your relationship may be exclusive, but this doesn’t mean your partner is for you alone to enjoy. Being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like you’re in a box. You both need room to breathe. Respecting your partner’s need to broaden his or her social circles will strengthen, not weaken, your relationship. There’s more to life than your relationship.
And remember, no matter how much you love your partner, you can’t meet all their emotional needs. Having a strong base of supportive friends outside of your relationship can be healthy for both of you. If you’re both responsible, you’ll know your boundaries when you’re with your friends.
3. They Want to Change You
Some people are bossy and controlling. They make it their job to mold you into the person they want you to become. Instead of focusing on being your partner, they take on the role of parenting you. They almost always have an objection about your wardrobe, the foods you eat, the gym you go to, the TV shows you prefer, your favorite pet.
They make you feel like you’re a high schooler in boarding school, and they’re the principal. Being with such people can get boring, and exhausting (for both parties).
One of the main causes of frustration and unhappiness is the desire to control other people – disregarding their freedom of choice. There are enough pressures in the world. The last thing you want is to be in a relationship with an individual who is bent on changing you to become their perfect partner.
Here’s the thing.
It’s not your job to change anyone, not even your sweetheart. Focus on changing yourself. If someone is old enough to be in a relationship with you, it means they’re old enough to know what’s good for them. Respect their preferences. Don’t confuse being caring with parenting.
Treat your partner as an adult. Be their partner, not their parent.
With love and blessings
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