In today’s episode of, “Will You Marry Me?”, I’d like to talk to you about, “You Can’t Buy Love.” When we love someone, we want them to know how much we care about them. As proof of our love, we spend time with them; we caress them; we fight for them. If necessary, we would even go to war for them – as was the case with Helen of Troy.
Exchanging gifts and other acts of kindness is a natural part of being in a relationship. However, sometimes our kindness can give the impression that we’re trying to ‘buy’ someone’s love. Our intention might not be to buy love, but our grand gestures can send a different message.
There’s a fine line between showing that you care, and coming off as someone desperate to buy another person’s love or loyalty.
You can do what you want with your money, but it would be a mistake to count on a partner to commit to you in gratitude for your generosity. You could be in for a rude awakening. No one owes you love. It’s important to keep this in mind.
Be careful about overspending before your relationship gets serious. Any act of kindness on your part should be done with the understanding that you’re not expecting anything in return.
Before I turned eleven, I witnessed two men from my neighborhood have their hearts torn apart by women they thought would marry them. Every day, as a kid, I watched as these men showered gift after gift on their beloved women.
One day, however, both men woke up to shocking news: their beloved princesses had run off with different men – men who brought more to the table than the previous suitors. Unfortunately, a lot of other men, as well as women, have had similar experiences. They overspend on their lovers hoping their kind gestures would secure them love and loyalty. They were wrong.
Remember, in love, nothing is guaranteed. One moment, you’re the hero; the next moment, you could be the villain.
In general, being modest when spending on a lover who isn’t yet your spouse (or fiancé) is a smart move. When you’re not married, there’s little commitment, and it’s easy for your partner to leave you should ‘better’ options become available.
If you can’t be modest with your spending, then be fully prepared – mentally and emotionally – and don’t feel used or cheated should your lover disregard your generosity and leave you for another person. Those who try to buy love often end up disappointed.
You don’t want people to commit to you because they owe you. You deserve to be loved for your own sake. People should love you for who you are, not out of a sense of obligation. Being loved as a reward for your generosity is an insult to your self-worth.
You can buy pleasure, but you can’t buy love. You can only receive love when it’s freely given.
With love and blessings