In today’s episode of “Will You Marry Me?” I’d like to talk to you about, “Building Trust in a Relationship.” In relationships, trust is everything. When we can trust each other, it makes us feel comfortable with each other. But when people don’t trust us, pursuing a relationship with us becomes a meaningless venture.
In fact, in the Bible, we’re constantly urged to love one another. An example is the great commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31, NIV). The Bible insists on love because love is God. Moreover, love is the natural tone and vibration of the universe.
But when it comes to trust, interestingly, the Bible takes the opposite stance – warning us against trusting anyone but God. Example: “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save” (Psalm 146:3).
But because marriage is by nature a covenant between two people, everything depends on mutual trust. Trust must therefore be carefully cultivated, nurtured, and protected.
Trust is difficult and unnatural, so it takes more work on our part. Love, on the other hand, is natural. When love fades, there are ways to revive it. But the same can’t be said of trust. Once trust is gone, trying to recover it is an uphill task. If a couple can’t trust each other, their relationship is a sinking ship.
To help us build and maintain trust in relationships, let’s take note of the following points:
1. Respect an Agreement
Learning to abide by an agreed decision will bolster trust. Doing the opposite will erode trust. And when trust is undermined, it’s the relationship that suffers. For example, as a couple, you’ve both agreed to donate $500.00 when you attend a charity event for orphans in Ghana. Without the knowledge (nor consent) of your partner, you donate $1000.00.
Perhaps you’re both well-to-do, and a $1000.00 doesn’t put a dent in your budget. But the issue here isn’t about the money. It’s about the action – constitutes a breach of trust, because it disrespects the partner who was part of the decision to donate $500.00. When it comes to trust, it’s the little things that matter. Agreement is agreement.
2. Keep Your Promises
When we make promises, we put our credibility on the line, while also compelling our partner to count on us. Promises must be kept, otherwise our word doesn’t mean much – which means in the future, we can’t be taken seriously. To ensure a flourishing relationship, our word must have weight – which can only happen when our word can be trusted.
3. Don’t Be Caught in a Lie
To become a liar, we just have to lie once – and be caught once. When a partner is caught lying, it raises serious questions about their integrity. Liars can’t be trusted, and it’s risky to be in a relationship with someone who can’t be honest with us.
In relationships, being trustworthy is a vital currency. Let’s guard it well, because it’s all we’ve got.
With love and blessings