God Is Not a Matchmaker

Hello everyone!

In today’s episode of “Will You Marry Me?”, I’d like to talk to you about, “God Is Not a Matchmaker.” My aim is to dispel a misconception that’s prevalent in certain religious circles, especially among Christians. When people start looking for love (marriage), it’s not uncommon for them to seek spiritual guidance. This practice is in itself noble, wise, and commendable.

However, the problem arises when people want more than guidance, and want God to ‘point out’ the exact person they’re supposed to marry. In other words, they want God to arrange a perfect match for them. One way they do this is to seek out prophecies and divination. Again, there’s no problem with seeking clarity and direction about one’s life through prophecy.

But there’s something we need to understand. God is many things; matchmaker isn’t one of them. There’s a reason for that.

It’s not the nature of God to deprive us of the ability to make our own choices. God made us His likeness for a reason. He made us gods and gave us dominion; hence we’re supposed to take dominion and make our own choices. In the case of relationships, for instance, we are the ones who must decide who we prefer as our life companion, and the qualities we want in them.

It would be a mistake to ignore our own decision-making power, and base our relationship choices mainly on someone’s prophecy, vision, or dream. Making our own decisions means we accept responsibility for our choices, as well as any consequences – and we can’t later blame God or a pastor for having misled us.

Growing up in Ghana, I knew a couple whose marriage was proudly advertised in church as having been revealed and foretold at a prayer meeting, and therefore sanctioned by God. In less than five years, the couple divorced – to the astonishment of church members. We also know of world-renowned pastors who’ve been through divorce, leaving their followers shaken.

When we make God responsible for finding us a lover, when things don’t go the way we expected – as it sometimes does – who takes the blame: God, Satan, or us?

God supplies wisdom and illumination. The purpose of prayer, then, is to enable us tune in to our inner guidance, to find illumination and clarity so we can understand the path ahead and make informed choices. God isn’t in the business of distributing husbands and wives. If He did, all marriages would feel like paradise.

The fact is, when it comes to relationships, we all have our expectations, tastes, and preferences. We make our own choices, and we attract into our lives people who are on a vibrational path that matches ours.  

We can pray, and we’re free to engage prophetic or spiritual assistance, but in the end, who we marry should be based on our own careful discernment and personal preferences. We’re gods, after all, and gods create their own reality.

With love and blessings


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